My problem with friendships

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Dear Reader, Suraj here –

Friendship is often regarded as one of the most important human virtues. I am and have been aware of it for quite some time, yet I do not regard myself to possess this virtue to the extent I’d consider sufficient. It isn’t that I am incapable of it, for I have some very wonderful people as my best friends. My concern is that I have become almost incapable of making new friends.

In regard to friendships, it wouldn’t be incorrect to label me an extremist—you either are one of my closest friends or you’re an acquaintance. There is no in-between. I feel content with the friends I already have, but that is a not something I should settle in. Or at least I shouldn’t be a kind of person who can’t build a new relationship with someone.

I have the best friends I have because they were once my friends. They became my friends because I was open to letting them, and letting myself put it the time and energy investment that building a good relationship requires. Recently, however, I haven’t been so open to it.

I understand that I still have a lot of life to live, and in so doing, I am almost certain to meet some incredible people. But if I am not open to investing some time in getting to know them, it’s also almost certain that my relationship with them will not advance.

If I am to be honest, I know exactly what the issue is. Two folds I think: 1. I am comfortable. To make new friends will require investment of both time and effort, which I may have been avoiding. 2. I may be slightly scared of opening up. If I let myself be vulnerable, I’d risk getting hurt, which I’m not sure I want to.

I’ll give it a try though, for if I don’t try, it’s certain to never happen.

I’ll see you next week.

Warmly,
Suraj