On perspective

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Dear Reader, Suraj here –

I hate to admit but I’m a captious person. I have a tendency to form opinions about others instantly. A part of this is definitely my intuition, but that is not the whole picture.

Although this approach has often saved me from trouble, there have been more than one instance when I’ve judged someone way too quickly. For a while, I thought that I was past it, but as I’ve come to learn, that is not the case. When out with my partner, I’ve made comments about multiple people and things, and she has subtly suggested that perhaps the situation is different.

Her perspective, often rooted in a more patient, observant lens, is a gentle reminder that my initial read is just that: a rough draft of reality. My mind is naturally wired to look for patterns, to optimize, and to sort the world into neat, easily digestible variables. It’s an efficient heuristic, and it makes navigating a busy environment easier. But human lives aren’t algorithms. People carry complexities and quiet histories that don’t reveal themselves in a passing glance.

Lately, I’ve been treating this as an exercise in self-correction. When I feel that familiar, rapid-fire judgment forming, I try to force a pause. Instead of trusting the immediate conclusion my intuition hands me, I’m working on leaving a little buffer. I’m trying to look at everyday interactions the way you might approach a complex problem or a dense philosophical text: knowing that the surface level rarely holds the complete truth, and that real understanding requires time and context.

I’m writing this because part of the process of figuring things out in public means documenting the unlearning just as much as the learning. The goal isn’t to silence my intuition entirely, but to stop treating it as the absolute, final authority. There is a certain kind of freedom in simply admitting, “I don’t have enough information to judge,” and allowing the world to exist outside of my immediate assumptions.

It’s an ongoing iteration, but the view is already starting to look a lot better from here.

I’ll see you next week.

Warmly,
Suraj

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