But why?

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Dear Reader, Suraj here –

About a week ago, I started taking an introductory class in philosophy. While the readings for the class are dense, it has been phenomenal for sparking ideas, and at times, they have also helped make sense of things. There is one idea from the class, however, that I have not been able to stop thinking about.

It is: Why do we do or not do certain things?

We often seem to have obvious reasons for our actions and inactions, but if we were to honestly investigate our motivations, we might come to recognize that our underlying reasons are very different. It is uncomfortable to say the least, and it gets even harder when you keep at it. At least that has been my experience with this exercise.

I’ve pursued a lot of things and people, and there have been some that I’ve let go of. In the moment, those decisions have seemed wise, but later, when I’ve reflected on them, I’ve come to realize that I could’ve done better. And this is not simply a case of “If only I had known better, I’d have done better.” Upon further self-inquiry, I’ve realized that my motivations for doing certain things that I’m not proud of have been of the type that I’m uncomfortable accepting. But trying to figure out what my motivations have been with my actions and inactions has given me a sense of clarity. Some motivations have led me to double down on certain things, while others have encouraged me to be mindful.

It isn’t just the things of the past, but also of the present. There are countless things that I have done and still do that are out of sheer ignorance. I pick my most surface-level reason for something and do it. But if I am to take a moment to say to myself something like:

Through a few rounds of questioning myself, I came from wanting to be a part of the truth to my not feeling at peace where I am.

This is only an example case. We could perform similar reflection exercises with a bunch of other things that we do, don’t do, or want to do. My realizing why I am really in search of God has encouraged me to commit even more. There are things, however, that have taken the opposite turn: they have made me realize that my underlying motivations are not honest. So, I’ve begun to refrain from such pursuits.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect upon your own actions, inactions, and desires. You do not HAVE TO do this, but I can assure you that, if you do do it, you will be in a better place.

I will catch you next week.

Warmly,
Suraj